Welcome to Samuel's Site!
My husband, Mark, and I had been married eight years to the day when we found out Samuel had leukemia. He was two years old at the time and was our third child, second son. Our eldest, Kaysha, was 7, our son Daniel was 5 and our littlest Anna was only 7 weeks old. . Like every family, we were taken by complete surprise and our lives changed instantly. Mark was working for a construction company at the time and I had an Internet based thriving business you might have heard of, Mom and Me Creations. The friends I had made world wide through my business spread the word quickly about Samuel and my web site quickly became a journal updating thousands of prayer warriors with news on Samuel's condition and the business came to a screeching halt. For four years and seventeen days, I chronicled Samuel's ups and downs on this website for all the world to see assuming that one day he would be old enough to read and understand what happened to him. Today, over eighteen months after his relocation to Heaven, he doesn't need to read the journal. He is forever healed. My remaining children, however, continue to live with the loss of their brother still trying to wrap their minds around what has happened.
Time and the Lord have given me hindsight and insight on so many parts of Samuel's life and the eternal picture. Insight doesn't change the turmoil of the hardest days to be certain, but Samuel's life, Samuel's gift to the world was far greater than the attacks on his physical body that constantly tried to bring his spirit down. The Spirit of God deep within him sustained him through every ordeal no matter how hideous. Samuel's amazing spirit sustained us. His life was beautiful, glorious, triumphant and worth every sacrifice we made to save it. Being his mother for six years and 17 days on earth was worth every tear I have shed and then some.
We were able to accomplish the impossible when it came to Samuel's leukemia treatment. Unfortunately, the initial chemotherapy did so much physical irreversible damage to Samuel's gut that it literally fell apart inside him. And yet, even with that, Samuel chose to live long enough to achieve three remissions free of harsh chemotherapy. The things God taught us about cancer and treating it were nothing short of a miracle; a miracle we were happy to participate in. What happened to Samuel has never happened to any other child and probably never will. What we did to treat his cancer is something 99% of people will never do. Kids are going to continue to get cancer and the medical establishment as it is currently will never be interested in finding a true cure. Samuel's legacy is not about his fight against cancer although I will tell you that one awful morning in the hopeless ICU when one of the IV RN's was drawing his blood, I did say he was going to grow up and "cure cancer" so no kid would ever ever have to go through what he did again. I did say that. Did he do that? I guess that is up to your interpretation. He certainly opened the door to endless possibilities and wonderful outcomes if a person is willing to step out in faith.
The 2004 hospital experience laid the foundation for the rest of Samuel's life. We had a choice. We could sit paralyzed at the bedside literally watching as the MD's killed him slowly with "medicine" to counteract their "medicine." That was one destiny. Or we could stand up, take the road less traveled, and alter that destiny. I am glad we chose the latter. God honored us every step of the way.
The flip side of that is the devil threw a wrench in every step of the way. Cancer is a demonic spirit and I fully believe that those demons were infuriated when we stood in their way and refused the typical cancer lifestyle. Samuel fought for his life, every step of the way, in a way I have never ever seen another child fight.
As you read this website, remember these truths:
Nothing that we did for Samuel would have been possible without the Lord's guidance. Hebrews 11:6 says But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for
he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. The one true living God honored us and rewarded us every step of the way.
Faith is nothing in and of itself; true faith requires action. James 2:26 says For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. When God shows you what to do, do it. If you are not sure you "heard" God, rely on the Holy Spirit and your conscience. If you are about to do something wrong, He will let you know.
Those who tell you something cannot be done have never done anything that required faith in God. Mark 10:26 says “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” We do not put our faith in what man can do. "Man" failed Samuel miserably. God never failed.
If God asks you to step out in faith, He will supply all your needs along the way.
There may be a day when you feel like all hope is lost and everything is coming against you. When that day comes remember this: The Lord always has the final say. Man might think he can alter God's will, but God will answer by confounding man's wisdom. Romans 8:31 says If God is for us, who can be against us? The final outcome is His choice but the faith required to stand until He answers is up to you.
1 Corinthians 13:8 says Love never fails. The Message translation says Love never dies. I know both of these to be true from experience. If your actions are motivated by love, the Lord won't let you fail. The grave doesn't change love. The spirit never dies and neither does love.
God never fails to accomplish His will in our lives. He finishes what He starts. We only see our lives in pieces. He sees the whole. Isaiah 46:10 says God declares the end from the beginning. Nothing that happens to us on earth is a surprise to Him. Everything is filtered through His hands.
Proverbs 3:5-7 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
Acts 14:22 exhorts us to stay true to the faith in Jesus knowing that it is only through many tribulations that we enter into the Kingdom of God.
Ecclesiastes 7:8 says The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The end of life is better than the beginning if the Lord Jesus is your Savior. Samuel budded on earth so he could bloom in Heaven. The Lord does not take lightly the death of His saints. Samuel had a high call on his life on earth and he walked it out triumphantly never once giving up or becoming bitter. He chose to stay as long as he did because he knew he was loved and needed here. It would have been easier for him to die in the Spring of 2004 but he didn't. It would have been easier for him to die in 2007 but he chose to stay another ten months past the relapse even though his body was falling apart. In those ten months, he did what man thought was impossible: three times. While his body was weak, his spirit remained strong, brave and true to the end. And in the end, he left because I told him to call upon the Name of Jesus and go to Heaven. Jesus received him because his destiny on earth had been fulfilled.
This website is part of Samuel's legacy. I would not have chosen the trials and tribulations he endured so honorably, but I would not have missed even a second of being his mom. Samuel lived his life victoriously for Christ. He left this earth boldly anticipating Heaven. He was well-prepared for eternity. I will forever be grateful that I am his mom. It is now, as I said it would be; he knows where I am and I know where he is. What I did not anticipate when I spoke those words so long ago, was that even Heaven would not be able to contain the love we share. Every once in awhile, I feel his presence. I feel his love. Setting him free to go to Heaven has allowed him to achieve life's greatest miracle and our blessed hope; a life with the Almighty where there are no more tears, no more suffering, and no more death.
We will be together again. Thank you, Lord!
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31) No weapon formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17) Let the redeemed of the Lord say so (Psalm 107:2) We are the redeemed! Glory to God always!
